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    May 27

    Insanity

                       悄悄的我来了,正如我当初悄悄的走……
     
     
    我有多久没正经写点东西了?突然想到这个真让我心慌,那种心慌来自于对失去文字描述能力的恐惧。前阵子收拾东西,出土了一袋子我初中还是高中的时候写的零零碎碎只言片语,拿起来只不过瞄了一眼,就头皮发麻全身战栗,翻个大大的白眼用力把纸片扯成纸末,才安慰住汹涌翻滚的胃液。于是一气之下,那一袋子倒霉的文物全都进了垃圾箱。事后想想,我那么嫌弃当年自己写的那些臭矫情,可现在却连臭矫情都写不出来了,超过1句话以上就开始漫不正经,这到底算不算好事一桩?当我随便挥挥手告别文艺小青年阶段,振臂高呼着老娘不玩儿了酸牙小文字儿都给我去见鬼的时候,我是不是真的应该为之庆幸为之开香槟大宴三天。搞不好最后,我傻傻庆祝的,只不过是自己失去了高阶的书写能力而已。
     
    曾经我抱着唐诗宋词读的不亦乐乎,自娱自乐开心的要命,现在却连唱个青花瓷都认不清歌词;
    曾经我买深蓝色的墨水往钢笔里灌,看见喜欢的文章一个字儿一个字儿的抄到日记本里,现在每天手写的中国字双手十指就能算清;
    曾经我拿伤春悲秋当饭吃,看见楼下脏兮兮的月季花都能摇头晃脑的写个洋洋洒洒一大篇,现在那堆月季花直接被我无视之,那天偶尔斜眼一下竟然被它们的庞大数量给吓到了;
    曾经我把逛书店闻油墨香当乐趣,现在看见“新华书店”四个大字只能用“恍若隔世”来形容我复杂的心情;
    ……
     
    把这些一条一条的罗列下来,我觉得我简直应该拿瓶香槟把自己噘醉,一觉醒来一切如昨才好。省得像现在这样,进退两难的闹心。
     
    突然想到很久很久以前某位同学装大人般在墙上刻,“失去了才知道拥有时的珍贵”。现在想,俗归俗,但理却是这个理。很多事情,不在意的放下了,却保不准在笔直前进了很久很久以后,哪天失心疯的回了个头。然后发现,遥远的那一边是那样的似曾相识,只是从此,尘归尘土归土,断了来时路。
     
     
    ————————我是失心疯的分割线——————————
     
    就当我这是论文被延期造成的后遗症好了,有些郁闷总该被排解一下。那这个说事或许又是小题大做,但天知道我写这几个字儿写的多卡多缓慢。
     

    Comments (6)

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    Ran Shiwrote:
    我觉得你还挺你的,没什么大变。过两天就出来了,一起失心疯呗~~
    June 22
    晶 聂wrote:
    我那个朋友一听说你是文学硕士,第一反应就是让你去当文艺女青年
    June 16
    xiaowen chuwrote:
    女人,就甭失心疯了,生活一如既往的向前,该咋样就咋样好了。。。。论文总会过去的,文艺小青年也会过去的,现在就挺好的,没啥好遗憾的,加油加油加油!
    我现在被某姐姐逼得也不正常了,表理我,过来看看你解解闷
    June 1
    旭 韩wrote:
    你还活着啊。。。我的天啊,多少年不见了?找工作了没啊?
    May 28
    磊 王wrote:
    冲这个字,您没事,论文加油,我都快完了,争取我回去前结束,谁先谁请客吧呵呵
    May 28
    瀛 周wrote:
    那个,我只想说,论文加油!
    May 27

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